Have you told your wife all this? If not then I would suggest you are already hiding things from her. If you have told her........and she is okay with all this......take your lovely loyal wife of many years with you!
What is it that you want so badly to meet her?
Just forget it it and move on. If you want to talk with her do it here on an open message board.
Before you know it you will be thinking of her through the day.........and wondering all the what if's etc etc.
There is no need for her to want to meet you........except to start something that shouldnt be started.
Try focusing your thoughts and thinking to your lovely wife.......how bout meeting her somewhere for dinner...........how long since you did that?